Escape – noun; a form of temporary distraction from reality or routine.
Hawaii – noun; said to mean “Place of the Gods”.
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I’m not here to tell you that I can fix anything or tell you what you should do. I don’t think anxiety needs to be “fixed” because there is nothing wrong with it or you - I just think it needs to be nurtured and managed. Anxiety is a part of you, and if you can learn to control it in certain situations, it can become a positive thing. It enables you to feel your emotions at a heightened level – whether that be happiness or sadness, you feel it ten-fold. I’ll often find myself over-apologising with the people around me to ensure that no negativity can damage the relationship. With that said, I’ll feel the highest of the good too – I feel love, and care, and passion for those same people too, and I feel it in abundance.
I can’t tell you how to stop the constant chatter in your mind, or to shut off any self-doubt and negative talk. It is easy enough for someone else to tell you to stop, or forget about it, but in reality it’s a hell of a lot harder to actually do it. What I envisaged doing with Newton Fit was to create some form of escape. A space where women can escape and visit when you’re feeling your low moments, when you are feeling on edge or when you just need to see a little bit of sunshine on a dull dark day in your mind.
When I am feeling any of these anxieties my mind automatically starts wandering in search of Hawaii. The phrase “all I want is to go to Hawaii” is one that my fiancé hears on a daily basis, and one that ensures my mind isn’t at ease – it’s searching.
You may call me crazy, but I’ve been there five times, and I’ll be getting married there next year, but it’s a place where I am most happy, most calm, and most myself. There is just something about the warmth of the Hawaiian sun, the cloudless blue skies, and the way the palm trees sway amidst the scent of coconut oil. The only way I can explain the feeling is that it’s happiness in my heart.
On the days where I am feeling incredibly teary, extremely on edge, and just want to stay home all day, I try to imagine myself laying by the pool at my favourite hotel in Maui. I’ll drift away to the sound of crashing waves, staring up at the palm trees swaying effortlessly. To me, there is honestly nothing better. When people think of Hawaii, they think of Waikiki – but Maui is something different - it’s a lot quieter and there is truly no better place to escape to.
It’s falling asleep to the calming sound of the waves caressing the shoreline, right outside your door. It’s waking up with not an anxious thought on your mind, and spending your days without a worry in the world. It’s the casual stroll down to the gym, guided by the rows of palm trees that lead the way. It’s when the hardest decision you have to make is whether to swim in the ocean or the resort pool. It’s when the most stressful part of your day is making sure you get to the pool early enough to make sure you have a bed to lie on. It’s the amazing sense of relief from all the pressures that are constantly doing laps around your mind on a daily basis. This is what Hawaii means to me.